Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
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