a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
