Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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