Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
