Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
