Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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