Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
