i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
