are you so shy because you have an std?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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