I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
