the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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