Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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