i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize