I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
