idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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