Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
