You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
that's an acceptable place to lick
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
