I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
