she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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