Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
