college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
