It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
