another moral hangover. fuck.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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