But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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