So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
