I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
