playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
