i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
