Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
