Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
