Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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