Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
