So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
