I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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