And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
