I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
