I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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