Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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