This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
