like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
