oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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