so explain again why im purple
no
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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