Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I am one with the molecules
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
