I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just want nice things and good sex
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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