you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
