Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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