I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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