Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I could fuck to npr.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
