I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
