I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
