My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
