He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
