It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
