i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
