nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
