I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
