I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize