She said her name was "party"
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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