i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
