Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
