mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
not ubering you a puppy
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
