i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
