I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
