Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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