32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
