$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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