I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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