So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
