Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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