I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
