And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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